I Don't Get Australian Humor (Warning: Very Random Blog)

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Help I can’t find my tractor. What? I don’t get this. Australian humor is a very complicated thing and I can only hope to progress (or is it regress?)to that level of understanding during my year here. Ha! I find that I am quickly adjusting to my new way of life. The thick, unique Australian accent is becoming much less noticeable. Now when I speak to people here I think their accent sounds completely normal (what is normal anyhow?). Just the other day I was talking to two girls for a while. One of them eventually told me that they were Americans and had just come to this country to visit. I didn’t notice their lack of Australian accent because it's become so familiar to me! I suppose the next step is to actually sound like one myself. Hmmm that should be interesting. I’ll call it the Australian twang.

Australia still seems like some huge, unfamiliar country where almost anything can happen. However, I think that this makes it more interesting. One of my favorite things to do is to tour the city during my runs and get to know the place I live in. It’s great because I almost never run in the same place twice. I actually live on the outskirts of the city so it’s not so overwhelming to a small town girl such as myself. The most amazing thing is that I live 1200 meters from the beach, a mile away from a huge shopping centre, a mere walk to some quant shops and bakery’s, and right by a few ethnic food places. I find that almost all the restaurants here are privately owned. In fact, the only restaurant I’ve seen that I actually recognize as a chain is TGI Fridays. The rest feature authentic, ethnic cuisine like Thai, Turkish, Greek, Indian, and Middle Eastern food which seems to be conveniently placed by my house. This fact makes me happier than a kid at Christmas.

My youth job seems to be pretty busy but not completely overwhelming. I’m really enjoying getting to know the kids. They’re all great. It’s been a great experience and I’m just trying to build relationships and become somebody that they can come to. And guess what? I’m coaching a girl’s basketball team! Don’t laugh. I know, I know. Most of you have seen me play basketball but this doesn’t mean that I can’t be a good coach. Right? In America, some people would say to me “you’re tall, you must be good at basketball”. But here it’s a bit different. The Australians say “You’re American, you must play basketball.” Unfortunately both groups are wrong and this example just goes to show that assumptions are almost never true. I think I should have a microphone of something when I coach during a game because I’m so quite nobody can hear a word I say. And if they could they still wouldn’t understand it. “Um put your hands up, grab that thing. Yeah I mean the ball. Run fast. You’re the post guard now. Um… I mean point guard. No I mean post. Run fast. Go. Jump high. Punch her in the face” I’m joking about the last one.

“Um… we usually don’t put our feet on the subway seats.” These are the words spoken by my kind Australian friend after I had used the subway seat in front of me as a foot rest for over 10 minutes. I was wondering why she kept looking at my shoes. I thought she was just interested in my super cool cowboy boots. Apparently here in Australia putting your feet on things other than the floor is seen as extremely rude. Oops. I’ve also found that I tend to have some trouble identifying the appropriate bill I should give the cashier. Their money looks so different. It’s extremely colorful, completely wrinkle free and much better looking. Coins here go up to $2. I dread buying something in a store because I fumble with the bills for a while before I decide which one to use.

Randomness:

~ To get a better idea of Australia, it’s best to think of it like America except everything is mini size. The food portions are much smaller and in turn the people are generally smaller (weigh less). Coffee cups are mini size. Sometimes I want to look at the food and say “well that looks nice but do you have something other than the sample”. LOL. The trash cans are mini size! It might hold 2 egg cartons. The grocery stores are much smaller but don’t necessarily have less stuff. Everything is just crammed into a smaller space and people tend to have trouble getting their buggies down the isle.

~ I’ve seen one pickup truck since I’ve been here.

~ I get to do a little nursing home visitation in some of my time and it’s been so much fun. There’s something unique about visiting people that have lived all of their 95 years of life in Australia. They can tell me so much about Australian history plus they love my accent!

~ I seem to become quite enamored with the grocery stores here. They’re a bit different than in America. There is one by my house and I sometimes just go in it to stare at everything. There are so many different types of food! I’m sure the people there think I’m such a weirdo. Some random girl who just stands there and stares at food for long periods of time. That’s me.

~ Oatmeal is called portage, trash cans are called rubage or dust bins (never ever trash cans) shady or creepy is called dodgy, sidewalks are called walk paths, and flashlights are called torches. More to come later.

~I have liked every new Australian food that I have tried. Except one thing: pumpkin. Not pumpkin pie mind you. The Australians eat pumpkin all the time and I just can’t seem to get that stuff down. I even like something called Vegemite and eat it on my toast regularly. It’s a type of spread and I’ve never tasted anything remotely like it before. The Australians said that I was the first American to actually like it. But please keep the Pumpkin.

~ I’ve never been much of a soda drinker before but I’ve fallen in love with a particular soft drink called solo. It’s hands down the best drink I’ve ever had before.

~ Australians tend to be quite lax about all these dangerous creatures living around them. Just the other day this guy in my youth group nonchalantly told me how he picked up a brick, put it down and saw the there was a Redback spider sitting right by his hand the whole time. They say the Redback spider is the 2nd deadliest spider in the world. Second deadliest! They also have these jellyfish swimming around their oceans that can supposedly kill you with one sting.

~ I tend to forget my camera everywhere I go! I hate this because I’ve seen so many cool things but I can’t even take a picture of it! I’ll try to be better about this.